Mind over Matter Boosts Likeability

If you were one of those people who wasn’t always comfortable with social situations in high school, there’s a good chance the same trouble has followed you into the adult world.

As an adult, there’s no shortage of situations where you’re meeting new people that you’d like to impress or trying to fit into a particular group. In fact, just to get a job you’ll need to not only meet but also impress any hiring manager you speak with. If you land the job, you’ll be back on stage, needing to win over your new coworkers.

If you put your mind to it, there are a few tricks you can use to win people over without them even realizing.

It’s about them

When you’re a newcomer in a social setting, it’s only natural for others to introduce themselves and start asking questions. For example, if you just started a new job, someone might ask you where you worked before or something more personal like whether you’re married and have children.

Instead of cowering and feeling uncomfortable each time you’re approached by someone new. Seek out opportunities to introduce yourself and ask the first questions. This not only takes the pressure of being the new person under a microscope off of you, it also puts the other person in the spotlight. By showing interest in the other person first, they will subconsciously think you must be caring and considerate, and these are traits people instinctively admire.

Listen up

Being a good listener is critical to winning people over. If you’re not paying attention, you’ll surely be caught if they then ask your opinion on what they just said. If that happens, you’ve blown your chance at a good first impression.

Using body language that shows you’re paying attention and find what the other person is saying interesting can make someone feel at ease. Try nodding your head in agreement and using appropriate facial expressions to let them know you’re following along.

Seeing eye to eye

Eye contact can make or break a connection with someone you’ve just met. It’s important to make eye contact when you speak because it shows your sincerity. People that tend to look away when they talk are often thought to be untrustworthy.

However, there’s a fine line between casually catching someone’s gaze during conversation and making someone feel uncomfortable. A good balance can be achieved by also looking upward or outward, as if you’re contemplating the conversation.

Show your weaknesses

Another way to make a connection with people is to ask questions. By asking someone for help with something, you let them know that you’re not one of those people who thinks they know how to do everything better than everyone else. If you ask someone for their advice or a piece of knowledge you know they have, this makes them feel helpful and valuable, and everyone likes to be around people that make them feel good about themselves.

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